Friday, September 16, 2011

Reduced to Tears.

Working out today was a little rough. It’s mid-week and I’m tired. I haven’t gotten enough sleep this week and I’m tired. I’ve worked out nine of the last 10 days and I’m tired.

Did I mention I’m tired?

Or at least I WAS tired…Before I sucked it up and worked out. Actually, now that I think about it, there was no sucking it up to be done. I just did it.

Most days working out is part of my normal routine. Days that it’s not are usually days off, which usually mean I’m busy with something else. It’s not often that I take a day off and just hang out at home. I have a VERY hard time doing that. You know, unless I’m like sick or something.

Today was no different. I came home from work, let the dogs out, changed, and worked out. I did some cardio followed by some strength training. I’m definitely feeling it. I definitely felt it during my workout…Not even just the strength training portion! As painful as that was, it wasn’t the worst part.

My run/walk time today was brutal. My legs felt so tight. From the calves up through the thighs, I was very aware that my muscles have been worked. At one point, they hurt so badly that I didn’t think that I would be able to go on. Okay, so that’s the dramatic portion of my brain taking over. It got to a point that I had trouble moving my legs as fast as I had been. But? I did.

I pushed past my aching, wobbly legs and kept going. I actually found that running felt better than walking. I had fewer, and shorter, walk intervals than I did when I ran. I kept my heart rate up, but steady, and there was not a part of my body that wasn’t soaked with sweat when I finished.

At one point while running, I started to FEEL how tired I was in my body. My legs HURT. It was more than just that ache of worked muscles. This seemed to be every mucle in my leg resisiting me. It was as if they were screaming “STOP!!! WE’RE GONNA WEAKEN!” It was at that moment, that actual tears started to form in my eyes. The first time anyway. It happened again a little later in the run, but wasn’t as bad.
I didn’t stop. I pushed through. I reduced myself to tears and kept going. What’s a few tears here and there? Nothing. The eyes are just another area of the body that expresses some form of liquid…lol… Tears are the sweat of my eyes.

There were moments during both the cardio and the ST that I’m pretty sure my internal grunts escaped my lips. My counts during ST got more gutteral and somewhat strained toward the end of each set. My muscles shook and felt week… Ahhhh muscle failure, I love you.

After my workout (the cardio and ST) I felt so good… Physically tired and sore, and wet, but good. Very good. Naturally, as with any good workout, I felt recharged after.

Sometimes I still find myself in disbelief at the fact that pain can feel so amazing.

Pain really is beauty… That statement is so true. And, depending on your definition of beauty, it can be fairly painful at times (for me it’s things like my muscles feeling like they’re on fire and having the little hairs ripped out of my eye brows… that stuff makes me feel beautiful; especially the muscles).

Also? I really do feel much better feeling sore tonight (and probably a bit tomorrow too!) than I would if I didn’t work out.  I would feel SORRY (in this way I define it as angry, self-loathing, mentally abusive toward myself) had I not worked out. Today would be lost, as far as a workout is concerned. It would have been a loss because I had nothing else to keep me busy. I would’ve sat on my rear, doing something else. Sure I would’ve been working on a project of some kind, but I would have missed out on the truly awesome feeling of a good workout.

Sometimes when it feels like you can’t go any farther, you have to push yourself. If you cry, scream, or even vomit, you need to push yourself to your limits. Your body can handle a lot more than you give it credit for.


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