Sunday, November 20, 2011

Pretty Powerful

The voting ended on Friday for the Bobbi Brown Pretty Powerful campaign contest.

 As anticipated, I did not win.

However, for signing up so late into the contest, I don’t think I did too bad with my 130 votes. It certainly was not 5000+ like the winner had, but I’m happy. What I’m most happy with is that I reached a few new people.

Thanks to my friends who shared the link on Facebook. Some of you had friends who messaged me, and I’m so grateful!!! The people who messaged me wanted some advice for various reasons. They may have felt lost, out of control, or just in need of a change. I shared my blog link and messaged back and forth. I hope that I inspired them to make a change.

My goal in signing up for this contest was to touch at least one person. Mission accomplished.

I want to continue to educate people about obesity… It’s BAD. I’m not a doctor. I’m not a nurse. I am just a girl who looked at herself one day and thought “no way” and made a change.

Whatever excuses you have, please know that they are just excuses. You CAN do the things you can’t. You just need to get inside your own head and encourage yourself. You have to be that little annoying voice that is screaming at you to push harder. Be the person you want to be deep down. By making excuses, all you are doing is hurting yourself.

I’m not saying this is all about appearance. It’s not. It’s about health. It’s not just about losing weight. It’s about adding years to your life. It’s about being happy and healthy. I firmly believe that mental and physical health are very closely related.

I want the people who feel like they are in a hole so large that they’ll never escape to know that, they can. It’s a long road. It can be hard. I’ve experienced my fair share of tears and anger. I’ve experienced far more moments of feeling accomplished, proud, happy, and thankful.

I can’t tell anyone what they need to do to change… Other than eat healthy and exercise. Ya gotta move and ya gotta watch what goes into your mouth. You can’t eat fast food and sit on the couch and expect change. It won’t happen.

Stop being lazy. That’s what it is. The excuses for why you “can’t” do something… That’s just laziness. You need to kick laziness’s ass. And you need to keep kicking it.

Sometimes I think I may offend someone with what I say. Too bad. I’m being honest. I am telling you the things that your well-meaning family and friends won’t. I’m not going to spare your feelings because maybe you need to feel. Maybe you need to cry and feel like you’ve hit rock bottom. If you don’t feel, it’s likely that you don’t really feel the problem. You need to feel.

Honestly, for me, this started out as “I need to lose weight.”  It’s become so much more. I’m an advocate for health. I never expected to discover that health would become so important to me. I love working out. I am back in touch with my inner-athlete. I want to go run around a baskeball court. Seriously, I was just pivoting around my kitchen tonight. My inner-athlete has been gone for a very long time… Since 7th grade when she thought she wasn’t good enough and gave up sports. She’s been gone for a long time and now she is ready to burst out of me.

I’m going to do Warrior Dash in 2012.

I want to do a small triathalon. I know I can bike, depending on the run I can do that… I need to go get into a pool because I haven’t done any real swimming in ages. I want to finish it… That’s all… I don’t need to win. I just want to do it. Doing these things, for me, is living. There is no greater experiencing than feeling the wind in my hair while biking; the sweat pouring off of me while running; and I’m sure the water rushing over me while swimming will be just as freeing. Ten years ago I never thought of those things or how amazing they would make me feel.

Ten years ago… Wow. When the heck did I become old enough to say things like that? Me no likely. Not one bit. I wish I was ten years younger. Well, maybe not…Maybe between five and eight. I can’t go back though. I can’t have a do-over.

Lately I’ve learned that age, the number, isn’t what is important. It’s how you feel. If I feel like I’m a 20-something, that’s okay.  Someone recently said that age is just a number… I think I’m finally accepting that.
There’s all this pressure at my age to be in situations that I am honestly not ready for. For example, right now, I don’t want babies. I’m so happy for my friends and family members who have gorgeous children. I love them. But I have a lot of living to do before I’m ready for that. I hate that sometimes I feel that time is running out. It’s not. I’m just learning who I really am….A little later than most, but earlier than others.
Where I live doesn’t help with that. That’s what you do around here… Get married and have babies. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I relate better to the characters on Sex and the City than I do some of the people around here. For me, life is not all about getting married, having babies, and living here. I need, and want, more in my life. I was lost for far too long. Now that I’m learning who I am and am letting her out….I need to live.

I can’t help but think of one of my favorite quotes (from SATC, of course)…

“Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them.”
With all of that, I’m trying to say… You’ll change. Not just physically but emotionally and mentally as well. It’s scary, like a lot of changes are. It’s so good though. Self-discovery is something truly amazing. I’m sad that my real self was hiding inside a fat, insecure (although I’d never admit that and didn’t act like it) girl. This me? Was dying to get out.

Most importantly you have to love yourself. You don’t have to love how you look, but you do have to accept it. I think that for me, finally looking in the mirror and accepting myself for what I really looked like helped me to change. When I accepted myself, I decided to change myself.

The only person who can change you is you. You can get advice, you can seek therapy, you can do many things to help. In the end though, it’s up to you. You have to be ready to change.

You hold the power to change your life…Now how amazing is that?

I may not have won a contest, but I’ve won…. I’ve won against obesity. I fought a disease that I allowed myself to have. I prevented health problems. I’ve won a new attitude. I’ve won a new, strong, and real confidence. I’ve won a new outlook on life. I’ve won a new sense of peace. I’ve won the fight to really know myself. I’ve won the ability to inspire and motivate others. I’ve won a new direction.

On the shallow end of things…I’ve finally won my inner hotness!!! Hey, as much as it is about health, it’s about appearance too (for me anyway). I wouldn’t be set on getting cosmetic surgery if it wasn’t. I’ve the ability to look in the mirror and go “daaaamn.”

Most importantly, I’ve won my life.

What I’ve won is so much more important than a contest.  In the end, I happen to think I am Pretty Powerful.


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