It's been nearly two weeks since my surgery! Crazy!! The time has gone by so quickly, I can't believe it. I had a few rough days at first but since I've been healing things have gotten better. I had moments wondering what I had done and why I did it. Now I don't ask those questions. I'm happy I did.
I also have moments of feeling unhappy about it though. I did not expect perfection. I did not expect to come out of the OR looking like a VS Angel. I thought I'd look...Different though; better. I try to remind myself that it's not even been two weeks yet. At my appointment on Friday the doc said that I still have swelling on my belly. I know I'm not an "after" yet but I worry that I won't look how I expected.
My tummy still seems bigger than I thought it would. Then again, I have swelling. I had a bathing suit on over the weekend and didn't like the way I looked when I was sitting down. I still had some pudge that went over the suit. I can't help but wonder if this will go away or if it will be there. I know I'm swollen but I expected something a little different than this. Maybe in a month it'll be even better. I hope so anyway.
I also know that my thighs probably have some swelling but I'm not as happy as I thought I'd be. Despite the fact that 2-3 liters of fat was removed from them, they don't look much different to me. I can see a little change when I look in the mirror from the side but not straight on. Again, I didn't expect perfection but I also thought this would look better. As it stands now, I'm all for that thigh lift that was discussed at my consultation. Maybe that and the arms will happen next year. I guess we'll see.
Don't get me wrong, I AM happy with my results. I didn't expect perfection but I also expected more than what I'm seeing thus far. Hopefully a month from now things will look different. I'm also an emotional train wreck lately (WHAT did they put in that IV!?!) so that probably has something to do with it. I'm all over the place...Anxious, happy, and then randomly crying. Haha...Maybe I have had too much time on my hands to THINK lately! I let my mind wander too much and allow myself to think about too many "what-ifs" sometimes. Luckily someone else who is close to me is also a bit of an emotion train wreck, so we're able to lean on one another and be one big ol' train wreck together. That's oddly comforting.