Monday, May 14, 2012

My Second Solo Post-Op Outing

My blog posts have been pretty short, if at all, lately. That's mostly because I'm doing daily updates (or every couple days doing a few!) on my plastic surgery page. Check there for what's been happening.

I do have a short annoyance to vent about before I go rest....

I was at the store today, by myself, less than a week post-op. I was also there, by myself, yesterday!!! It has only been days since my surgery and I'm feeling pretty good. I get tired pretty quickly and came home feeling rather exhausted.   BUT... I was up, drain, sexy compression garment and all, walking through the store. I was pushing my own cart, getting my own things from the shelves and putting them in the cart. I even did the self check-out.

Would you like to know what annoyed me?  Seeing a lady, probably less than ten (and that's being generous) years older than me; or maybe even a few years younger...I really don't know. Anyway, I saw no physical reason for her to be in one of those little motorized carts, as she grocery shopped with her two young children.  I saw no casts, no crutches, no signs of anything physically "wrong" with her. She was a pretty big girl, but that's NOT a disability. 

I will be honest...I looked into the basket on her little power cart and noticed that it was full of all kinds of wonderfully unhealthy things.  I was annoyed.  I'd have been more annoyed if I were having pain and had wanted one of those and there were no available (hahaha I'd drag myself through the store on one foot before I'd get on one of those). BUT...I am perfectly able to walk, hunched over a little, with an odd shaped bulge in my shirt (my drain), and lumps from the dressings in places...I'm fine with that. At one point my drain was sticking out (how gross; sorry people). I'd much rather walk around, moving slow, and looking like a granny than I would ride around in one of those carts.

To see someone who appeared healthy, other than her weight, being lazy and cruising in a cart was so obnoxious.  I saw little old ladies moving around the store, and they probably could've been in a cart!!

This is highly judgemental because she may have really had a good reason for needing that cart (while her children ran wild), but I did not see it. From what I could see, it was pure laziness. She wasn't even THAT big!!! As not nice as it is I thought, "I bet she just left McDonald's; or maybe she's going there next." Yes, that's mean. That's judgemental. That's not the nicest thought in the world, but seriously... IF it was JUST laziness, I have no problem with coming across that way. 

What really annoyed me is what it was teaching her children.  If there's no reason for her to be in the cart, it's teaching her children to be lazy.  I also noticed that there appeared to be no lessons regarding nutrition on today's shopping trip.  The kids were like little piranhas going after bags of chips in the salty snacks aisle (I walked down it JUST to look in her cart...haha...I'm a jerk).

This just reinforced to me that when I have children, I'm going to make sure I set a good example for them. I'm going to continue to be healthy. I'm going to teach them about making good choices. I will not feed them full of fast food on a regular basis.  I also won't be too controlling.  I will allow snacks and treats, in moderation. I think that being too strict can cause issues with food too.  It really just comes down to teaching them to be healthy and helping them to understand why it's important to fule our bodies with good things. Activity and exercise will be hugely emphasized in the lives of my future children.

I'm definitely ready for a nap...I've been sipping a Mike's raspberry Margarita ('s that for healthy!?) as I've written this and I'm definitely entering the relaxation zone. No worries, I'm no longer on any meds so an afternoon drink shouldn't be too harmful.  I decided that if I'm going to be off work, no matter how horrible I may feel at times, I'm going to take the time to relax and act as though it's somewhat vacation-like.  Now that I'm feeling a bit better, I'm hoping that I will actually be able to enjoy relaxing, unlike the first few days!

Nap time is calling my name....



  1. Your judgmental analysis of the woman on the cart says MORE about YOU than it does about the woman. How selfish is it to assume that because you can't see someone's disability that they are just being lazy? Did it ever cross your mind that just maaaaybe that woman has problems breathing due to some sort of illness unrelated to her physical appearance? I'm going to make a judgement on you, since you seem to judge others so easily... Your lack of compassion for this woman tells me that you are selfish and think you are better than others. I wish you well with that rationale, but I hold no hope for enlightenment.

  2. I would like to point out that I DID say I was being judgemental. I acknowledged it. I also said that she may have an unseen disability. I did not completely disregard that.

    You are more than welcome to make your judgement and share your opinion, however that is the complete opposite of who I am. I'm guessing that you made that judgement to make a point about judging others; well said. I did take that point into consideration prior to writing this. Thank you for sharing it. I like well-thought discussions on things. They're good for the mind.

    I would like to know how this judgement makes me selfish though? I don't quite get that. Selfishness is putting your own interests above someone else's. I didn't go up to her and kick her out of the cart, take anything from her, or even get in the way of her shopping. An example... If I were being selfish I would have stepped in front of her taking the last of something off the shelf that I wanted, not caring whether or not she even had time to get to it.

    A quick note about the opposite: I am actually a very selfless person. I've spent a great deal of my life being TOO concerned about others and giving them my all, while not caring about myself enough. I've been too worried about hurting others or making them angry; sometimes more than worrying about my own happiness. I am very compassionate and have empathy for others.

    I'm curious, did you read anything else that I posted about who I am before judging me? Did you take the time to understand and consider what was said? Or did you react quickly and emotionally? See? And why post anonymously? I could make a judgement on you based on that alone, but I won't. My point? It's human nature and we are all guilty of it. Sadly most people won't own it. Also, as people we vent. I received comments in other places on this post from others who understood my point of view.

    I have been on the end of receiving judgement for most of my life...Teased as an chubby child, insecure as a slightly overweight teen, and then depressed as a morbidly obese college student/adult. I have also judged others. WHO HASN'T??

    Again, I did not say that this was fact or it was what was happening. It was my opinion of the situation, which then made me think of how I've known people who are like that. Perhaps I should've said that this woman sparked my thoughts on others who I do know about. It wasn't so much about her as it was my thoughts on laziness in general. I'm sorry for not being more clear on that; that she sparked a thought that I've seen many, many times in life. Also, the area where I live may impact on my judgement a bit. It's a small area and I've know many people in that situation....The probability that it was laziness is very high around here.

    Thank you, again, for sharing your opinion. I enjoy reading the thoughts of others, as well as responding to them. Like I said, I love a good discussion!!

  3. I'd also like to point out that another person may have taken offense to your comment and removed it. I left it. I'm not afraid of another person's opinion and welcome the conversation. Yeah, you called me judgemental, but so did I. :)

  4. Bravo Becky!!! Honestly since I have started my "journey" to loose weight and be healthier, I notice that I am being more judgemental aganist obese people also..........After seeing that video of that guy who couldnt walk and then lost all the weight from yoga and now he can run??!!! WELL HELL if he can do it then just about anyone else can to!! I say, just off your lazy, unhealthy butt and do something about it!!!

    1. Thank you! :)

      I think part of me just wishes I could "save" everyone. Haha...I need a TV show so I can help people. I know though that I can't just help anyone - they need to WANT it. I can't wait to be able to work with the people who want to change someday!

  5. I am a little farther in this journey than you and I guess being a little farther and having had weight come back, back off, back on... and realizing how much more work it takes to stay in shape the second time than the first time, I have learned to really appreciate whatever it is that I am... and where I am. I used to look at those Morbidly Obese with a look/judgement of "Why dont they just get off their arses and lose weight??" and i would look at their carts and think "THIS IS WHY YOU ARE FAT!!" and yeah sometimes I still look at carts and 9 times out of 10 the contents go hand in hand with the body shape of the one pushing it but I have realized along the way that a lot of my judging of others is more about me judging myself. While I think i am looking at the other person for being fat or lazy what I am really doing is wondering why it was, when i was that way, didn't I GET it either? Why was I buying tubs of ice cream instead of running shoes. Why was I sitting down watching tv when I should have been outside tending to the yard. Why was I worrying about chat rooms when the sun was shining and I failed to ever leave my house. I look at those people nowadays and I realize I am just looking at them for who I was.. and in a way i think at some point I gained a bit of irritation and anger towards "them" because I want to be angry with who i used to be. To be angry with the mentality I once had perhaps in hopes that I will never be that person again. It really has very little to do with the person but everything to do with me.

    ANyways- as for the woman you were judging. It is possible she was supposed to be on bedrest for a threatened pregnancy or maybe she just had a miscarriage and was still healing. Perhaps she had injured an ankle or had a back out of placethat made the cart needed. It is possible she was just lazy. But who knows. Personally I think you looked at her more for realizing that you were once heading to be THAT woman. No probably not in the next 10 years but that day was coming prior to you taking control of your life and regaining your health. But then again, maybe it wouldn't have taken that long. When you were over 300 lbs (sorry I forget your highest weight) if you had pinched a disc in your back and needed groceries but didn't have your mom/dad to come help you, you would have still needed to go get them. In cases like that you cannot just hobble around a store- you would use the cart. Etc. Anyways- Forgive yourself Becky... Forgive yourself for who you used to be and dont be angry at those who haven't "gotten" it yet. Forgive them too.. We dont know their journeys. It is always possible when looking at someone 250+ lbs and wanting to judge them that we have no idea they used to be 400 lbs.. or they went from a fat morbidly obese almost to their death bed but now they can run a 1/2 marathon and no longer need many medications. We just dont know... we only know ourselves..

    1. Great thoughts!! Thanks for sharing!! :)

      I hadn't thought about that, so I'm glad you commented. Maybe it does have something to do with my old self.