Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Slowly Improving

It's been about a week since my first run after having been off.  I'm improving; somewhat slowly. Or maybe I just have too high of expectations. Who knows!  Today was my fourth jog/walk and it went pretty well. I went faster than the last few times, which meant I went a little farther. I'm not up to my usual speed, but I'm getting there. I'm doing C25K so I'm only running in sort periods. Will I be able to do an entire 5K at my top speed in a week and a couple days?  Nope.  Am I okay with that? Yup.  It will just feel good to do my best, even if I walk more than I'd like! :)

I'm excited about this 5K. There are quite a few friends doing it too, so it will be nice to have that support. Last year a few friends ran it too, and it was nice but I didn't see much of them.  I'm hoping that with so many running this year, I'll find one or two to stick with. I know others will be way ahead and some behind (but they're walking it!) but that's okay. For me this isn't about my time. It's not about winning. It's just about going out for an early morning run and having fun.  I'm super competitive so naturally I'll be pushing as hard as I can but I'm not going to allow any negative self-talk (or thoughts, I guess) during the run.  Oddly I'm most competitive with myself.  I always tell myself I can push harder and go longer; move faster. Sometimes it's motivating and sometimes, if I'm having a bad day, it's just destructive.

I'm excited that so many people I know are going to do it - whether they run, jog, walk, or do a combo like me, I'm proud of them for doing it.  A lot of people would prefer to stay in bed and be lazy on a Saturday morning.  I'm loving that I know so many people who are going to get up and be ready to move by eight! Hopefully it'll be warm; last year was a little brisk for me, but that wasn't such a bad thing. I pushed hard and definitely warmed up. I just prefer to run in fewer clothes. I'd rather not deal with too may layers. I'm sure it'll be chilly in the morning, even if the day turns out to be warm. 

In other news...

I noticed today that not only is the scale showing the difference in weight, my body is.  My tummy definitely does not appear to be as swollen as it was.  There's definitely still swelling but it's looking smaller.  I know it'll take time, but hopefully I will continue to see a little progress each week.  It was good to be able to see the changes in my body. The scale moving was one thing, and now seeing it is another....Both have been wonderful!! My Mom's friend told me I look great today, and not to lose anymore weight. While I don't have dreams of a big loss, I do want to lose a bit more. Nothing significant since I had surgery, and I really don't have room to lose a significant amount anyway. I'd be too thin, which isn't what I want.

I was also finally able to get into regular pants! Yes! I'm happy that my trusty size 10 work pants fit again.
I can't wait to keep going down....Hopefully I'll be in an eight. I'd love to be a six, but I won't get crazy.  As long as I am healthy and happy, I'll be okay.  It would be nice, though, to have my bottom and my top match up a little better. I find it funny that bottoms are M/L and my tops can be much smaller. I'd say on average I'm a medium, but then I have a couple smalls that are too big. I pretty much stopped determining my size a while ago, when I realized that depending on the item, I can wear a variety of sizes. The only thing I can rule out is anything bigger than a medium in tops - they are definitely too big!!

I'm still not satisfied with my hips and legs. I realize I'm still progressing, but as of now I'm definitely having a lower body lift when I get my arms done.  This will likely be sometime next year.  Lately I've also been focused on my smaller than I'd like chest. I NEVER thought I'd be one to get anything done to my breasts but now I'm re-thinking it.  That would be the last area of correction.  I have skin there so it's not like I'd just be getting implants for the fun of it! This would be a breast lift, which does include an implant to help fill out the fact that there's extra skin there.

 My Dad heard me talking about it the other day and said "when does it end?!"  I just want to fix the mess I've made by getting fat. In my eyes this excess skin wasn't caused by weight loss. It was caused by the fact that I allowed myself to become so insanely overweight in the first place.  Sure, it's showing up because of the loss but it wouldn't be there had I not gotten fat. I'm not going to become plastic. This is about correcting the damage that's been done to my body. Although I'm not gonna lie...Someday I might enjoy a little botox...But no face lifts or anything like that. The idea of having my face cut into makes me queasy. YUCK!!

In about another month I'm going to do a photo shoot again, with the same photographer who did my shoot last fall.  She has a project she's working on and needed a model. I asked her about it and she thinks I'll be perfect for it.  All I know is that it will be a fun outdoor shoot. I have no idea what I'll be doing, which makes it even more exciting! I'm pretty much up for anything at this point...Whether I go "pretty" or I get to play in the mud! Maybe both!? Whatever it is, I'm excited!! I'm starting to think I was born to be in front of the camera....I sure do like to have my picture taken!

I suppose that's all the news I have for today. I need to think of another good topic to write about instead of just "a day in the life of..." type posts. I enjoy these posts and hope to help motivate others as they continue to read about what I've accomplished and what I continue to do. This is my life; a new way of living and I'll remember that.... Every. Single. Day.


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