Friday, July 27, 2012

A Most Unusual Feeling

The last two days I've felt lighter and smaller.  My scale has not reflected this change. I haven't taken measurements in a while but I'm thinking I need to start again. I got away from it because I had so much swelling after surgery. The last thing I wanted to know was exactly how far my belly seemed to expand (yes, despite having skin removed).  Something just feels different and the scale isn't showing it.

I don't know what it is. Maybe it's what I'm wearing? Yesterday I wore a pair of pants that had small vertical strips. Not quite thin enough to be pinstripe but not some crazy design (or those cook pants) either. They are super cute, from Banana Republic (the outlet, actually).  I bought them Thanksgiving weekend and they were a bit snug but they are spring/summer pants so I thought they'd fit. They do, and they're a little on the baggy side after I wear them for a while.

By the way... WHAT IS IT with pants? The dryer seems to make them smaller but then after I have them on for five minutes they're too big. I don't get it. If they're tighter or more fitted, shouldn't they stay like that? Maybe it's the dryer? I wonder if I were to air dry them they would do the same thing. Anyone have experience with this? I hate having to struggle into pants that fit me comfortably. Honestly I feel like a cow when this happens.  I also hate putting on pants (that I know are too big, like the jeans I'm currently wearing) and having them fit and then later they're too big.  I know I should get rid of the old pants so I don't have this problem. If they're gone I won't be tempted to wear them.


The pants I've worn the last two days fit a little loose. Is that what's making me feel smaller? Baggy pants?  Maybe it helps when I look in the mirror? I don't know.  I'm not sure it's that.

I wonder if it's because I haven't eaten sugar in the last few days.  I'm sure there's been some sugar in my foods (I mean, there usually is!). I haven't added any sugar to anything. I managed to kick my cinnamon and sugar toast snack habit this week.  I threw the bread away (it was ready) on Monday.  The trash was collected Tuesday morning.  This is going to sound gross to some, I'm sure....

Background first... When you bake, do you sometimes sneak some of the batter? I know it's not healthy, but I know lots of us do it.  Well, I sometimes "test" the batter before most of the dry ingredients are added.  There's something about the creamy, smooth texture and sweet taste of a batter with butter, sugar, and vanilla (just before the egg, because I really do try to avoid testing batter with raw egg in it!).  I'd say my favorite time to test better is then....Even though it isn't quite batter.

Okay, so there's the background. Baked good batter, in progress. YUM!  Well, since I got rid of the bread I kind of treated myself to a little margarine and sugar.  No, I didn't eat it out of a bowl of something nasty. It was just a tip of the spoon into the margarine, then the sugar, followed my a lick of the tongue. It's a good mixture. I like it.  Too much. 

The sugar found itself in the trash on Tuesday night. Enough was enough!! I hadn't eaten sugar on a regular basis until I got into this cinnamon and sugar toast kick a couple months ago. Other than for baking, I didn't use it. Then came the toast kick.  I haven't baked in a few months (I miss it but haven't had a reason since I baked some adorable Big Bird, Elmo, and Cookie Monster cupcakes in April). I decided that since I haven't been baking and don't have a reason in the near future, the sugar needed to go. All it was doing was sitting there, tempting me, forcing me to eat toast.  Okay, not forcing me.  That was all me. However, out of sight...Out of mind. I haven't even wanted that treat all week. Of course, I have been treating myself with Vitatop muffins and brownies. Oh and Triscuits and hummus (that was lunch too).

Maybe it's the lack of sugar in the last few days? Is it possible that by cutting out that treat, I'll feel lighter this fast?  I'm not so sure about that. I suppose it's a possibility, but I think it's about as likely as the pants being the reason that I feel so good.

I think it's largely in part to my workouts. I didn't follow my training plan over the weekend (busy; out of town with friends...Did some walking/shopping but no actual workout for three days).  Maybe just getting back into my routine full force has made me feel better? I feel like my muscles are tighter. They certainly feel tighter; especially my thighs. I think that my five mile run on Monday initiated that soreness.  In total I've done over 15 miles this week - in walking and running.  I'll be adding at least five more miles of biking to that total today.

Maybe that's it? The use of those muscles. I think that's a huge part of it.  I don't feel like I look any smaller, but my legs feel it. That's been the area I've felt I've been smaller....Makes sense with the pants. I know that in a matter of four days, changes are not going to be that huge.  No one will see it. I don't even see it! In fact, I still do not like my thighs. YUCK! They're lumpy. They don't look tight. I am pretty sure that I'm seeing this because my swelling is resolving.  I have loose skin. The lipo I had done promotes skin tightening but it takes a while.... About a year before final results will be seen. I have extra skin (I mean, obviously, since I had between two and three liters of fat taken from my thighs). I think that a combo of the loose skin and the cellulite is causing me to continue to dislike my thighs. I'm definitely having a lower body lift. That will be my next surgery. I dislike my thighs even more than my arms. I doubt that they'll improve THAT much as my skin continues to tighten over the next nine months and (almost) two weeks.

It can't be seen. I feel it though. I feel as though I've worked my muscles. Sometimes feeling that tightness and knowing I've been working them makes me feel smaller... Even if I'm not. I've also done some good ST this week (see my 10K training page for workout info) and that helps me to feel tighter. Even if I do squats, lunges, and such I generally feel the effects of ST in my arms, shoulders, back, and abs....Not usually in my legs. Of course with all the running and walking I do, it's hard to know what makes the muscles feel tight. It's probably a combination of both. It really doesn't matter the source. It feels good. I feel good.

Whatever the reason and no matter what the scale says, I feel good today.

 I feel tight. I feel smaller than usual. I feel strong. I feel confident. I feel sexy (mostly because my muscles feel tight and well, that's just hot! After all, "I'm sexy and I know it... I work out!"). I feel happy. I. Just. Feel. Good.

Time for some biking? I think yes!!!

Have a great weekend!!!


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