Friday, April 5, 2013

Oh Friday...

I am so glad that it's Friday - for multiple reasons. The largest being that it's the weekend, and I'm ready for it! I love my two days off and I always try to make the most of them - in whatever way makes me happy at the time. I'm excited to be home this weekend... It's been a month. I have big cleaning/organizing plans but we'll see how that works.... Hopefully well!!

I'm also excited because tomorrow begins a new week for me as far as WW. I'm ready. I need to get this week behind me and start over with a new, healthy week. A week that will not be one that is spent working hard just to break even regarding the points I used. I should be working hard and having those activity points left over. I feel like all the hard work I did in terms of my workouts was almost for nothing... I know that's not true, but it sure can seem like it at times!

I'm ready to go grocery shopping and stock the fridge full of healthy, wonderful foods. Colorful fruits and vegetables, lean meats, protein powder (oh how I miss my shakes in the morning), and other fantastic things. I am so ready to re-stock! I am also ready to try some new things.

I had a ton of fun last weekend, and the weekend before, and the weekend before that.... I stuck to being healthy most of the time, but obviously there were some indulgences that probably outweighed them. The good thing? I didn't indulge in everything. I made choices regarding which indulgences and stuck to those. All weekends could have been a lot worse, that's for sure!

I'm ready for a new week... It's always a good thing, especially after a week like I have had.  It's like a new beginning. The fight for this week is over and I can start a new week with a fresh, positive outlook. I will, most definitely, not eat out or drink like I did last weekend. Limits.  That's where I've gone off-track, I think, and that's what I'm going to be more disciplined about.

Last night I looked at pictures from a couple summers ago...This was also 20 (less) pounds ago. It's time to get back on-track and get there again. Looking back, I LIKE how I looked. I was still struggling with the thoughts that I needed to lose 20 more pounds at that time...You know what? I was okay where I was. I looked healthy. I looked good. Was a I supermodel? Nope, not even close. Looking back made me realize that I should've been okay with where I was instead of getting so frustrated all the time.  In reality, it could be those thoughts of not getting where I wanted to and letting the scale stress me out that lead me to gain 20 pounds. I'm sure some of it was a less restrictive lifestyle, but I really think attitude plays a huge role in weight loss.

So... I have a goal in mind. And I have a positive outlook. When I lose those 20 pounds I WILL be happy with how I look. That's my new final goal. If I lose more from that point, okay, but I'm not going to stress out. I looked good... I felt good... I was healthy... I was happy.... Those are the things that matter. Those are the things that I want to achieve again.

As of today (well the day is almost over so technically tomorrow) I'm re-committing myself to living like I did back then. I want to be just as happy and as healthy. I'm on track and focused to lose 20 pounds and I'm going to do it.... Only weighing once a week, still following WW, and of course still exercising...But above all, I'm going to take the time to celebrate every little achievement along the way. I am going to stop beating myself up over perceived failures. It's time I get back to treating myself like I actually love myself. It's a key to happiness in my life.

This is also a good thing about a new week... All of the bad feelings I've had about myself this week need to go. After today they're gone.  No more allowing myself to feel like a tank.  My self-esteem was NOT good this week. At all. I don't think that the eating and drinking situation helped any but I've also felt BIG all week. Not just fat (although I do feel like my thighs are HUGE today - maybe I'm holding onto some fluid?), but big in general... Even just having my extra skin there made me feel big. I don't know... Just a bad week I guess. I honestly have just felt like a disgusting, big blob for days.

Those feelings are gone after today. If I catch myself doing any self-loathing starting tomorrow I'm punishing myself by... I don't know yet, I'll figure it out tonight. Maybe 10 burpees for each negative thought I have? THAT will teach me. Friggin' burpees... At the same time that I'll be training myself to STOP thinking that way, I'll actually be doing something good for my body. As much as burpees suck, they are good exercise. They're also not something I want to have to do outside of a regular workout that includes them... So the trade off for a bad thought is a good burpee.

Basically? I'm conditioning myself to be less of an ass to myself... The consequence of my bad thought is a burpee. The reward for not having them? Better self-esteem.

Are any of you struggling with things that might be impacting on your weight/health despite eating healthy and exercising? Mental stress can really play a role in your success! That's why journaling is SUCH a good tool... I need to start doing better at that too! I've gotten away from it and definitely need to start up again!

Friday, I'm glad you're here and I'm glad you're going to be leaving soon. I'm ready for the freshness of a new week. I'm ending the week on a positive note - it's time to turbo!

Have a great weekend!!

XOXO

2 comments:

  1. Don't feel alone. My self esteem has really struggled lately. I haven't had the motivation to get up before work and exercise and I am really starting to notice my slacking. I'm also "starting over" tomorrow and re-claiming my body and work outs. If I don't exercise, I do not lose one little ounce. So I know what is holding me back--ME!!
    Very motivational post.. Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone...
    Have a GREAT WEEK!!

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