Tuesday, April 23, 2013


I'm not really in the writing mood today. This doesn't happen often. I don't have anything remarkable to discuss. I'm not inspired to write a post about something else.

I've just been kind of down lately. I'm just not feeling good... I'm tired but can't sleep very well, every now and then I'll feel hungry but don't feel like eating. I have to force myself to eat. I'm stressed out at work. I'm stressed out at home. I'm just not in a good place and in some ways I feel a lack of control, which I really hate. However, I won't let that totally kill my healthy lifestyle. That is one of the few things that's in my hands; in my control.

With that being said, I'm happy to report that it could've been very easy to go on a binge. I didn't. So far I seem to be surviving without emotionally eating. That's a huge step for me. HUGE. It's awesome, that's really not a struggle for me right now...At all.

Yesterday I didn't eat much. I made up for some of the calories I didn't eat by having some wine. I thought it would help me sleep better. It did not.  I did end up going for a walk with my cousin which made me feel better for a little while. Good ol' distraction. We laughed a lot and it was definitely therapeutic.

The rainy weather isn't helping. That's making me feel even more "blah." I'm going to suck it up and workout anyway. I have a three mile run and some TF scheduled. Because I walked yesterday I didn't do the TF workout that was scheduled... Maybe I will do yesterday's today. Or part of it. Or just do today's. I don't know really, it'll be some form of TF after my run though. Also? I'm not at all excited about my run because it will be on the treadmill.

At this point, I'm only working out because I feel like I have to. Working out, that's the hard part. I'm so tired that I have no motivation. Luckily I have dedication. Motivation or no motivation, my dedication is there and that's something that won't change. I may hate every minute of my workout, but I'll get it done.

I really don't like bringing a negative, depressing tone to my blog. I really try to keep it off of here. The thing is, though, that life is full of ups as well as downs. The downs can effect us in ways that effect our health, both physical and emotional/mental. That's why it's better to be honest... Because how we pull through the tough times shows our true strength. And I guess that's why I'm sharing it here. This blog is about my life and even the bad things are a part of me. 

I'm also showing you that it's possible to continue being healthy even when you don't feel your best.

Strength. That's something I've gained in the last few years - definitely.

Hope you've had a good Tuesday!


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