Friday, July 12, 2013

The Book.

From Thursday... Forgot to hit "publish." 

I've not written anything just yet, however it is coming... Someday. 

 Here's the thing... 

I've wanted to write a book (memoir-style) and use my weight loss in my career somehow. I've discussed personal training but honestly I have not kept up with that. At all. In several months. I'm confident that I can pass the test and get my CPR certification without difficulty. I'm just focused on other things. Personal training is not a very lucrative career. I could do it part-time, "on the side," but it definitely will not be a full-time job for me. Eventually I would like to get that certification but right now it's not high on my list of priorities.If it were, I'd have done it by now. As far as my day-to-day career in Social Work, I do still want to do some work with clients who want to work toward weight loss and getting healthy. Personal training will eventually fit into that because I can make it all one business. That's down the road though. I suppose I would call that my five year plan! 

 Back to the book. I've wanted to write about my weight loss, but I just haven't had the motivation or inspiration. Let's face it, there are a lot of blogs and books about weight loss out there. I don't view myself as any different than anyone else who has lost weight. I am a damn good writer though! I feel like this blog is doing a good job getting my weight loss journey out there. I still want to write a book. 

I've decided that my story is too broad; too general. I don't have a specific piece of my journey to put into a book. The thing is that this journey will continue....Forever. Or until I choose to end it. I don't see ending the journey as a possibility because that would mean that I'd no longer be living a healthy lifestyle. 

My weight will, most likely, always be something I have to carefully control. I have not been and will not be someone who can eat whatever they want and not have to worry about their weight. My body just does not work that way. I will always have to put in the work; exercising and being highly aware of what I'm eating.

 I decided yesterday that I need a project (this is what I hinted at in my post) to write about. It has to be something within the weight loss category but it has to be more specific than, "girl was fat, girl lost weight, now said girl is healthy." I also don't like to be the same as everyone else. I don't want to do what's already been done. Nothing major happened in my life causing me to gain or lose the weight. I went through typical ups and downs (and some not-so-typical), struggled with self-esteem, and ate my emotions. I tried, and failed, to lose weight on several occasions. Then I finally did it. And that was that. I feel that my basic story isn't all that special. People do what I did everyday.

 My idea? 

 I need to do something for a set amount of time and focus my book on that. It will be a new journey and my past will, undoubtedly, be a huge part of it. I'm not going to take a journey of self-discovery around the world. I'm not going to pick up a cookbook and cook my way through it in a year. I am going to use a similar style. I am going to pick a goal, work toward it, and chronicle it. I also want to make it challenging. I think that by challenging myself I'll allow a lot of room for good book moments to seep in. I mean, it has to be entertaining! 

 Fitness. That's the foundation for this project. I fully admit that I am a (self-proclaimed) Cardio Queen. That's how I managed to lose weight (combined with a healthy diet, of course). I do not do enough strength training. I continue to go in streaks of doing well with ST and then letting it slip again. For some reason cardio has been more "fun" for me. I guess I like knowing that I'm burning a ton of calories. When weight loss is a focus, calorie burn is a huge part of it. Although I know that ST is important too, I have always focused on "burn, burn, burn!" I really do like ST because I like how I feel after. I love that soreness in my muscles. I like feeling strong. 

 I would like to blame this idea on (give credit to?) my boyfriend. He enjoys watching WWE (wrestling), and no he is not a redneck. Like at all. Anyway, he's been into wrestling since he was a kid (like many little boys did, growing up in the 80s) and it's something he has enjoyed since. It is seriuolsy like a soap opera geared toward men. Because he watches it, I've started watching it too. At first I was like "okay I will watch this because I like you." Now I actually enjoy it! I find it to be very entertaining and pretty funny sometimes. I'm definitely getting into it...So much so that the other night I actually yelled "get up!!" at the TV. Generally I don't do that unless I'm watching a sport that I'm really into like college basketball, or football (sometimes baseball). When I caught myself yelling at the TV I realized I actually like wrestling. I have never really been into wrestling as far as watching it. I thought certain guys were cool when I was a kid (like Hulk Hogan). Then about 10 years ago when "The Rock" was a big name, I watched a little...Simply because he was so "haaaaawwwwwt." But to sit down and watch an entire show? No. Never. Not until now anyway. 

 One part of wrestling that I really enjoy is when the "divas" wrestle. They are so fit and athletic; some more than others. It's amazing to see the range of body types and sizes of the women who wrestle; and how they possess so much strength. One wrestler (who's character I do not like, "AJ Lee") is tiny. She's thin and probably 110 pounds. Her muscles aren't super defined, but she's good. Then there's my favorite, "Kaitlyn." She's a best! I absolutely LOVE her body and pretty much have a "girl crush" on her. She was a female bodybuilder before she got into wrestling and has been athletic her entire life. Her arms are a bit bigger than I'd like mine to be, but overall her body is freakin' amazing. She looks big (in a strong, muscular way) and I think it's awesome. I also really like the character she plays.

 I'm not saying I want to become a professional wrestler. Or a female bodybuilder. Honestly those ideas make me laugh a bit. I guess I thought about it for a minute... Then I laughed myself out of it. In order to become a wrestler I'd have to take time out of life to go to wrestling school (for real). I think that I can work hard enough to achieve a level of fitness that would allow me to go to wrestling school, but I won't be running off to attempt to join the WWE when I'm done. 

 That would make an intesting book though... A girl who was morbidly obese changed her life, lost weight, and became a WWE Diva!! Look at that - a tagline already! Ha! 

 Because of loose skin and whatnot, I will never look like Kaitlyn or any other female wrestler. Unless, of course, I have more surgery. The divas, "Kaitlyn" in particular, just happen to be my fitspiration at the moment. I am going to work as hard as possible over the next year (starting Monday) to look as much like that as possible - for me. The goal isn't just about my appearance. It's about working toward reaching a new level of fitness. Do I hope to get a hot bod in the process? Um, yes. Obviously. 

So that's it..The book. I am going to work on making my body as in shape as possible...Like fitness model status. Again, I'm not saying I will look like a fitness model because it may not be possible for me to do so. I just want to be as fit as I possibly can. Despite having surgery, I still have some lose skin. I don't think I'll ever have what can be described as a "hard body" unless I have more cosmetic surgery. I once weighed nearly 350 pounds. I had A LOT of skin to be dealt with! My surgeon has done a fantastic job, but there's only so much that can come off at one time (safely). 

This new adventure will give me a goal to focus on and work toward. It will also be something more specific for the book I've dreamt of writing. I finally have that direction that was missing. I'm already making my plan to start on Monday. I went to a bodybuilding site and found information on training to be a fitness model. 

I chose fitness modeling as an outline for my plan, just to give me some paramaters and direction. I'm not striving to be a fitness model but I'm striving to be as close to a fitness model as my body will allow. 

 My journey has taken a turn. It's no longer about dropping pounds. The Cardio Queen has already achieved weight loss through cardio (and healthy eating). Do I still hope to lose weight (fat)? Of course!! I am sure that I likely will do so despite not doing tons of cardio. 

 So there you have it. My focus...Fitness. I'm going to work hard; as though I'm going to join a fitness competition. I'm not actually planning to join one becuase I am realistic about my body, but that's how hard I am going to work. I can't wait to get started on this project! For so long my focus has soley been on losing weight. Now it's going to be on getting fit; on becoming strong and fit. 

 Please feel free to shrae your thoughts on this and pray that I don't get distracted or lose interest and say "oh forget it" along the way. I feel that I'm determined enough to make it happen though, so more than likely - I WILL.

Happy Thursday!!


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