Thursday, October 3, 2013
The Weekend Re-Cap (Yes on Wednesday night!).
Sorry I'm a bit late in posting this... I had another busy, long weekend! I'm just going to summarize by the day, it seems easier to do it that way. Friday - I worked most of the day and then went home to get things done that I needed to do. I planned on being off (just got permission to work more hours two days prior) so I had things to do, but also wanted the hours at work. My boyfriend came over Friday night (as usual). I made some turkey pumpkin chili in the crockpot (skinnytaste recipe, I believe) and he ate it with me. I was pretty happy that he kept saying how good my healthy chili was! Honestly I love it when he compliments anything I cook (which is pretty much everything he's tried) because it makes me feel good about my skills. And it makes me feel like that's just one more way in which I'm capable of taking care of him... I like to take care of people, especially those close to me. Saturday - We didn't do much Saturday morning...Just kinda hung out around the house. On Saturday afternoon we went to his brother's football game so it was fun to spend a little time with that part of his fam. After that we returned some cans and bottles to the store then stopped by my Dad's shop. I'd only planned on stopping for a few minutes but we ended up spending a couple hours there, hanging out with my Dad, one of our friends, and then my Mom. Then we went home and grilled some burgers for dinner and spent the night just hanging out. Sunday - We were up bright and early to drive over to Detroit for a football game! He's a huge Lions fan and I'm a huge Bears fan so I got tickets for the Lions-Bears game. Unfortuantely my Bears let me down and suffered their first loss of the season. I will say that my boyfriend was much nicer about his team winning than I would've been about my team winning. I'd have picked on him for sure, and he didn't tease me about it at all. Now I fear that he may be nicer than I. Uh-oh... :) After the game we went back to the hotel where he napped (he loves his naps) and I continued to drink. We hadn't eaten and I proceeded to be drunk by six in the evening. He woke up from his nap and came down to the hotel bar where we learned food was no longer being served. Rats. It was only like... Well I don't know exactly what time but not much after eight, I'd imagine. We went back up to the room, where I managed to find myself in an alcohol-fuled PMDD moment... Or several moments. I don't even know what happened because I'd been fine, but suddenly I was sobbing. Uncontrollably. And then I was angry. All over nothing. This is, by far, the most severe the emotional symptoms of my PMDD have been in a while... Also the first time he's had to witness them. Being drunk certainly did not help me any. Note to self: no drinking the week before TOM... If the emotional symptoms of my PMDD are bad, alcohol will only make them worse. The poor guy could not stop me. I just kept crying and muttering who knows what (well I know some of it but it's embarrassing and doesn't make much sense - typical of PMDD). I noticed at one point that he may or may not have had tears in his eyes (I wouldn't want to say something that would make him seem too sensitive haha). He just did not know what to do with me. We tried to order pizza and between calls (all unanswered because who delivers pizza after 11 on a Sunday night?), I'd start sobbing again. My poor boyfriend... He seriously is the best for putting up with this and trying his best to comfort me. And it's a few days later and he hasn't run away. Actually I've apologized several times and he's told me it's no big deal. I could not ask for a better guy; I'm beyond lucky to have someone so supportive even when he has no idea what's wrong. Minus the drama on Sunday night, the weekend was fantastic! Of course, I felt awful on Monday - sad and embarrassed for my behavior on Sunday night. I was fighting off tears most of the day because I felt so guilty and bad. Naturally some of that had to do with the PMDD, which is my typical cycle. It's happened for years. I act like a jerk and then feel so bad afterward that all I want to do is cry. Tuesday I went back to work and felt like I could cry (and was irritable) all day. I finally broke down after I went home and then felt better. I guess I just needed to get it out. After that my mood swung back to normal and I've felt fine all day today. I might be one of the few women out there who are happy when TOM shows up... It means that the PMDD symptoms have gone and I can act like my normal, happy, sweet self. Gosh I hate having PMDD. I've described it as PMS on crack, but recently saw someone else describe it as PMS on steroids. Either way you get the picture - it's far worse than having PMS. I think I'd rather suffer having more severe physical symptoms (bloating, cramps, headaches, etc.) than more severe emotional symptoms. Symptoms of each show up monthly, but some months some are worse than others. It's horrible not feeling like yourself....It's like this demon possesses me and sometimes I don't even know why I'm doing what I'm doing (like the uncontrollable sobbing). My parents have always stood by my side and dealt with me. They've always been there with hugs when the tearful apologies come. It's so wonderful to have an amazing man in my life who is as supportive as they are. And now I want to cry because I'm so happy.... I suppose that's it for now! Have a great week! XOXO