Wednesday, February 5, 2014

The Crud.

SO my darling boyfriend has given me the crud. Well, maybe. He came down with a cold (mostly a nasty cough) over the weekend and I started feeling yucky on Monday. Either he gave his junk to me and it mutated or I caught something from someone else, around the same time. Anything it possible with all the various crud going around lately. Last night I just did not feel like posting. Or doing anything at all. Earlier in the day I had planned on working out and as the day went on I started feeling yucky. By the time I got home I knew I had a fever and that a workout wouldn't happen. And? It didn't. I put on some comfy gear and burrowed myself under a blanket on the couch for the night. I didn't do anything around the house and was essentially a big ol' lump. I watched TV that was about it. Oh and because I was sick I was a whiny baby and cried over nothing...Well, over being sick I guess which is something. So I was whiny to my boyfriend and probably was kind of pissy because I didn't feel well. I get like that when I'm sick - I want to be babied and taken care of and at the same time I want to be left alone. It's like I want someone there for me but I want them to be quiet and not make a sound. I'm probably a huge pain when I'm sick.

I'm pretty sure I'm not feeling any better today. I have some meds to control the symptoms so I have periods of time where I feel better but then it wears off and I feel run down and gross all over again. This afternoon my voice has started playing tricks on me too. Oh yay! It'll be totally fine and then all of the sudden it is weak and there's no voice production. Hopefully it doesn't totally go on me... I had laryngitis a year or two ago and it was terrible. Except at that time I felt a little better. Do you know how frustrating it is to feel okay and be unable to talk? Super frustrating. I remember texting my Dad to call-in for me because I couldn't call on my own because I couldn't talk. I missed two days of work. UGH! I definitely do not want that to happen again.

Tonight I'll be taking it easy again. This means no pushing myself soooo that means no workout. I suppose that's not a bad thing because I really haven't had an appetite since yesterday afternoon. I've eaten because I know I have to but I'm sitting around 500-550 calories for the day. Clearly that's too low for normal functioning which means it is way too low to even think about working out. And, as my Dad always says, "rest is the best medicine." I hate resting like this. I feel gross and working out seems to be the only thing that I feel would make me feel better. And I just can't do it because I need to rest.

Note: I find it interesting that it's super frustrating to not workout when I'm sick but when I'm feeling tired or something I can easily skip a day. Interesting. Soooo I'm sick and feeling run down and am pissed off about it? But last week I was exhausted on Tuesday and didn't think twice about missing it? That really doesn't make much sense to me.

SO...Rest it is.  I'll likely enter the nap zone after I write this. I probably SHOULD find something of some kind of substance for dinner though. UGH. I don't feel hungry. My throat hurts.  My stomach is growling. Horrible situation.

I'm sure that I'm not alone in the next thoughts I'll share...

First, I do not watch The Biggest Loser anymore. I have not watched in quite some time. I don't know why. I just kind of got out of it. Maybe I'm jealous that I wasn't in contention to win a big ol' fat prize when I lost weight. I also question how long taping goes on and how healthy it is...And really, who can live like that in the real world? I'd love to workout all day long, but....I've gotta work! Anyway, I stopped watching.

Today the show caught my eye because the winner of this season has been plastered all over the place.  Apparently she's sparked a bit of a debate. There are people criticizing how she looks. There are people defending it. People are concerned about this woman's well-being. I can understand where comments are coming from on both sides of the debate. I tend to lean toward the side that thinks maybe she's overdone it a bit.  Losing 155 pounds isn't a bad thing...Depending on where you start. Going from 260 to 105 seems a little extreme. I'm not sure how tall she is, as that seems to be anywhere from 5'2" to 5'4". Depending on her actual height, she might be underweight. She might also be at the low end of normal. She LOOKS underweight to me, and apparently to many other people. Even Bob and Jillian looked shocked (and not in a good way!) in the photos I saw.

Here's the issue... We judge. Everyone judges all the time. I feel for this woman because if you're too fat, you're judged. If you're too thin you're judged. Heck, we can be judged when we look "normal" or "average" - whatever that is. We can't base someone's health on their appearance. We don't know what all the various levels in someone's body are doing.

The bottom line? Just because I feel she doesn't look good doesn't give me the right to bash on her. It's my opinion. Am I jealous? No. Am I concerned about her well-being? No...Because I don't know the entire picture of her health. I'm honestly quite tired of seeing this girl's face all over the place. It's not that I don't care - it's that I don't know. And until we know, no one should be criticizing her. 

I think she looks to thin, IN MY OPINION. My "idea" look would be bigger than she is, more muscular and a little thick. That's my opinion of what I think would look good...It's how I would prefer to look. I'd rather have a little meat on my bones than be a super thin 105 pounds and look as though I am 20 years older than I am.

But maybe she's happy as she is. Maybe she thinks she looks fantastic. Maybe she doesn't. In the end, her opinion of herself is what matters. NOT the opinions of millions of other people. Body shaming is wrong on all levels...Fat, thin, average, whether someone has had weight loss surgery, whether someone has had cosmetic surgery... We shouldn't be ridiculing others because of their choices in life and because of their bodies.  Honestly? If someone else is an unhealthy 300 pounds, it is NOT my business. If they're an unhealthy 90 pounds, it is NOT my business.  It only becomes my business when someone involves me; personally or (for me) professionally. Honestly, putting yourself on a reality show kind of does make it the business of others. You don't go on TV expecting someone not to notice. However, there is a line that some appear to be crossing. You watch the show, you don't know her.

I'm not defending her and I'm not criticizing her. I'm just simply saying that appearance is up to our own interpretation. We don't know things like her lab values or her BMI. We can't say for certain that she's unhealthy because of how she looks. And it's that simple. Would I want to be that thin? Nope. Never. But that's for ME...Not for anyone else.

And that's that. I'm off to rest now.


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