Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Nearly 20 Days Isn't Bad, Right?

I was going to blog more.  Good thing I don't do resolutions for the new year. I'd have failed already. I think that it being just under 20 days isn't TOO terrible. Life's been good.

I've worked out at least six days a week most weeks.  Last week was the exception. I started feeling sick Thursday night and it worsened.  I ended up resting both Friday and Saturday.  Sunday I kept my activity really light and mostly just worked out to get my body moving and ready for the week. I didn't want to rest but considering I cancelled all of my clients/didn't work (and napped - I never nap!) on Friday, it was much needed. I wanted to try to push myself on Saturday but I was still too sick.  Even with keeping it light on Sunday, it was rough. I felt like I did a lot more than I actually did because it took so much energy.  If felt good but it was also exhausting. Surprisingly I did not require a nap on Sunday.

Luckily last Friday was also the day I had a doctor appointment for something else.  I thought that being sick it was good timing. However, what I had was viral soooo no medication for that.  I found out that I do have achilles tendonitis.  My doc gave me a med for it and between that and the combination of a couple total days of rest last week, it's already feeling better.  He said no jumping or running while it heals.  I've kept it light. Yesterday I did Turbofire and followed the modifier, which is no jumping.  It didn't feel as hard as usual and I didn't burn as much as I normally do jumping around but my ankle feels normal, so I'll keep it up. I did jog on Monday but it was a pretty light jog - slow and with walking intervals. I felt zero pain so that's good.  I think that the slower, easy pace is easier on the ankle. If I were going faster I'd be running harder, which would then cause the stress.  Anyway, so the ankle is on the mend and hopefully it doesn't misbehave because I REALLY don't want to miss the race in April!

I changed my workout plan and started doing more intense weight training this week. I. Hurt.  I'm following the Arnold Blueprint (for Cuts - I just picked one, honestly). It's four weeks of varying body parts.  I'm sure there's another stage or something to the plan but I decided to just go with this and see what happens. So far, on day three, I'm sore.  That's good though... I'm obviously working my muscles because they're screaming at me. I like the program a lot thus far.

Monday was chest and back. My chest doesn't feel as sore today (it was Monday night and yesterday). My back is still sore.  I will repeat this tomorrow. And every Monday and Thursday for the next three weeks. It was fairly painful at the time (not real pain; as in my muscles were like "woah, girl, tone it down!!") but after I was feeling pretty good!

Tuesday was leg day. I don't have machines so I spent some time (a lot of time actually) looking online for modifiers or different exercises I could do in place of those that require machines. So this was a shorter workout than Monday (not much shorter but there are fewer exercises), but still worked me.  My hammies and glutes are yelling at me today. Fun fact - these are my FAVORITE body parts to feel the soreness.  My legs/hips/butt are my "problem area" - forever and always so when I work those I guess I feel extra happy...  That and I really just  like to feel the soreness there. Maybe it's because leg day sucks and most people hate leg day and it makes me think,  "heeeeyyyy, I just did leg day!!" Leg day will be back on Friday.

Today was arms.  My arms are by far the weakest part of my body.  Not my "problem area" but my weak spot.  They will feel the burn far faster than anything else (well, my abs may be in competition with my arms). Today was no different.  They burned.  I only wish I could've seen my face as I was doing the last few reps in set.  It had to be horrible.  But funny horrible so I'd have laughed at myself. There was also a lot of grunting that decided to escape my body.  I felt a bit like the Hulk, except I was not yelling "HULK SMASH!!!"

As I said, tomorrow and Friday are repeats.  Saturday is shoulders. I'm looking forward to that. Like my lower body, my shoulders usually seem to be pretty strong. I also see the changes the fastest with my shoulders.  Sunday is a rest day.  It's also a rest day from running. I think that Sundays will be an amazing day to do some yoga. I'm most definitely going to need it.  I expect that by Sunday I'll be able to say "everything hurts and I'm dying."  And? I freaking love it. I really like this weight training program so far, and it's only four weeks so I shouldn't get bored too quickly.  I'll probably check out other programs and move on to something else. Or maybe, if I don't hate it at the end, I'll do this one again but try to increase my weight. We.  Shall.  See.

Half marathon training was going well until I got sick. I was working on some intervals during my week day runs - adding faster speeds and doing a minute walk to recover.  My plan was that this would help me to work on speed.  I'm hoping to get back to that next week. I'm still recovering from whatever I had so there's a lot of coughing, and still some strained breathing, going on. I'll keep the next couple runs light and easy and then speed it up next week.  I did bump my speed up a few times during Monday's run and honestly it went much better than I anticipated. I didn't totally decondition like I was afraid I would, so yay for that!

My diet has been better.  I've been pretty good about sticking to calories but I'm really trying to eat better foods. I know calories are what matters most but I need to detox from the junk that was finding its way into my life anyway.  I feel a lot better this week just eating more healthy and intuitively.  There is an eating plan along with the Arnold Blueprint but I haven't followed that yet because... I need to grocery shop. Badly.  I'm not buying any supplements or the recommended/specific powders. I'll keep on with what I'm already doing. Also Lent starts today so on Fridays, I won't be eating meat. I don't know that I'll follow it directly but may use it as a guide.

I'd say things are going well and are on-track. I feel awesome this week so I'm hopeful that that will continue!! As I've made abundantly clear, diet is always the hard part for me.  I picked up a new book and journal a while ago and am really working hard to avoid triggers.  I am taking this process much more seriously and my old state of mind found its way back.  I feel like I am finally on the road to where I need to be again.  I'm really working hard to eliminate the negative self-talk. I am not looking at old pictures and belittling myself (there are enough assholes in the World waiting to cut me down; why do that to myself?).  I think once I truly acknowledged where I was in terms of weight and my BED, I was able to find that freedom again. And in all honesty, going to the doctor kicked my butt in gear.  He's going to follow up with me in six weeks and I may ask if I can do that for a while to ensure I'm on the right track again.  If I have that accountability, I am more likely to work harder for it.  I want to reach these goals but sometimes having someone else to answer to motivates me a little more.  I should've gone sooner but I was upset with myself for gaining weight and kept thinking "I'll go when I lose five pounds" or "I should drop 20 pounds first."  I had to just suck it up, face reality, and handle it.

And now? My girl panties are pulled up and I'm taking control of my life back.  Sorry, BED, you're not going to win.  And although I relapsed once, it doesn't mean I will again. I am healthy. I am an athlete. This is a huge part of me and I won't let some eating disorder take over my life. I did it for far too long - off and on for almost 20 years now.  It's. Gotta. Be. Done. I read a quote that stuck with me the other day.... "you don't just choose recovery. You have to keep choosing recovery over and over again." This is true... It's not easy. It's a constant process. And sometimes a constant battle.


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