I loved shoulder day. I knew I would. Not at all surprised! After week one of the new program, I'm feeling pretty good. I am busting my ass for at least an hour everyday. Usually an hour and a half. Sometimes two. I'm happy that I'm working toward my goals ans crushing it. Honestly? This new weight lifting plan is making me feel like kind of a bad ass.
I still think awful things about myself sometimes but I'm getting better about that. I should really do that dollar in a jar the whenever I do that. I can usually talk some positivyt to myself and turn it around. I need to avoid things that cause that negative thinking. I'm really trying not to look back at where I was. That discourages me. Instead I'm just moving forward. One day at a time. I kill my workouts and feel good about myself. I'm sipping on some wine ans trying not to think "I don't need that 200 calories" it feel bad about it. Sure it's Tuesday but can't I enjoy a glass of wine withiytb asking myself feel awful!? The answer is yes. I don't need to go run snd burn it off it is okay. It's moderation.
I haven't binged in 12 days. Considering it had become an, at least, weekly thing for a while, I'm pretty damn proud of myself. I don't keep triggers around. I don't carry much cash. Like I'm gonna use my debit card for a few bucks in junk? No. The answer is no. I think the change I workouts is part of what's helping. I feel good. I want to keep feeling good. And yes of course I want to loo good again. Actually I want to lol better - I was thin before. I want more muscle. Muscle is hot. I'm a work in progress (again). I fought before and I know I can fight again. And I will. I am. This is my life. I can't control everything in it but I can control this. And I freaking love lifting!!!
And you know what else? I've totally been having random dance parties in the kitchen. I haven't fine that in SO long. And it's been like three mini dance parties in less than a week. To random z90s and early 2000s hip hop and rap. Ohhhh my youth!!! If ya can't enjoy life and shake it like a salt shaker is and then, you can experience life a little more fully.