I was going to post a few days ago and honestly just didn't pick up my laptop to write. I was just kind of like "yeahhhh I don't feel like it." I've been like that a lot lately. I think it could be stress building up. I'm also having trouble sleeping so then when I get home from work in the evening my motivation to do much of anything is super low. It'd cold and dark and by the time I make and eat dinner, it's getting late. At that point, after a busy day, I just want to relax. I've also been getting frequent headaches the last month or so. Those have been less than fun and I feel like doing absolutely nothing when I get one. Staring at my phone is awful because it's just too bright.
So, anyway... I thought "oooooh I should post about that" and didn't. Now? I cannot for the life of me remember what I was going to post about. I suppose I'll just share an update until it strikes me.
I am continuing to workout at least five days a week but I am for six. I have been taking a weekend day off but sometimes I do seven days. Last week I only did five because I ended up being busy Saturday and Sunday was my Birthday and I wanted a day of complete relaxation. This week I'm on day four so tomorrow will be five; possibly six with Sunday included. I should be working out those days because my Hammer and Chisel plan has me working out every day but Thursday. I usually do something different on Thursdays because I get involved in these Fitbit work week step challenges so I really want to get my steps. If I don't workout, I fall short. And if possible, I really want to win. There are some days that get super busy and when I'm busy at work... I'm on my butt most of the time. There's not much time with back-to-back clients to get up and walk around for a bit. Doing anything like squats or even walking in place would be far too distracting in a therapy setting. If I were sleeping better, I could probably get up earlier and workout. However, there's the not getting enough sleep issue. I've also never been a big morning person, but if I can sleep, I can get up and workout, even on days I may have to force myself. It might be lighter cardio than normal but I can at least do something.
I've started taking Melatonin at bed time and the last couple nights that has seemed to help. Of course last night I had the headache so in addition to the Melatonin, I had Excedrine and Ibuprofen in my system. The night before, though, I just took the Melatonin and slept well. I even got up early to get my H&C workout done. Of course, I didn't have to be in to work quite as early as other days, but I could've easily stayed in bed longer. Now I'll have time to at least do some cardio at lunch so that I can get more steps in. I have a higher goal than normal today because I took yesterday off. There were a few times this week that I had a "oh who cares" attitude but I did manage to reach my goal every day (except yesterday). I feel better today and am ready to tackle it so I get at least my 50,000 for the week (M-F). I won't win either of the groups I'm in and I'm okay with that. Honesty this week I've been struggling just to get motivated to do my regular, scheduled workout. I have noticed that if I don't get it in during the day time, I won't in the evening because I'm so tired.
I don't think that I'm a particularly depressed person, but I go through ups and downs like anyone. I've noticed I'm having more trouble lately and I'm not quite sure why. I wouldn't say I'm in a depression, but I'm a bit more emotional. I have had some stressful things happen like anyone. I wonder if a large part is that Buddy died this year, and now Belle is struggling with what appears to be similar to what he had happening. I'm clearly struggling with the knowledge that she is going to decline. I thought that the day had come last week when she fell and apparently could not get back up. When my Dad stopped to pick up the boys and let her out, she was just laying on the kitchen floor. She's still here and doing okay; she has her harder moments but so far she's managing. I suppose that all of that stress can add up without realizing it. I suppose it's just typical stress.
I do wonder about a couple things that I may check into at my next doctor appointment. I have had some changes - with the head aches, not sleeping, not being at all motivated in the evening.... These mimic depression symptoms. Depression is, basically, chemicals in the brain... I was reading about my symptoms (started with motion sickness and migraines being linked) and what seems to be going on sounds like it could be that my serotonin levels are low. Some other criteria fit and it can impact on weight. I've lost a little, but got off track with my Birthday and really just got back on track the last couple days. I guess I had an extended Birthday celebration! I wasn't horrible, but had some leftover treats and such - more than what I typically do.
The other possibility is all stress. Stress is sometimes there and we don't even know it. And it can be good stress too. I'm not running around a big ball of anxious, depressed awful stress. There are good things. There are sad things. There are average every day things that can be stressful that aren't either good or bad. I wonder what my hormone levels are like, particularly cortisol. That's been linked to stress and stress-related issues, including weight. I haven't gained recently but haven't lost much either. I am down a couple pounds this week, so I guess I'm moving in the right direction. Now that I'm back on the right track, we'll see what the next week brings.
I'm out of time for now. I'll write again soon - hopefully something of more substance than just an update.