Monday, May 14, 2018

Something New.

I am not sure why I don’t keep up with blogging like I used to. I just don’t. I’m not sure if I tired of it, lost the passion, or it just seems like something I just want to do now and then. Or every few months. I guess I haven’t had much happening in terms of weight and fitness. Same old story...

It could be that I don’t like to sit at my computer much and I don’t bring my laptop home with me often.  I recently purchased a Bluetooth keyboard to use with my iPad so we’ll see how this goes. It’s going to take some getting used to, as it is smaller than a regular keyboard and I seem to be having some issues typing on it.  I’ve already corrected several typos in this post, but hopefully as I use it, the compact keys will be something I can adjust to fairly easily.

Also.... Does anyone even read blogs anymore? I feel like vlogs is where it’s at these days. It seems that everyone is on YouTube and here I am blogging away like the old days. I’m not sure I’ll ever do the vlog thing.  I don’t have fancy YouTube equipment and I’m certainly not “camera ready” most days. I do not wear make-up on a daily basis and certainly not photo/video style make-up. Not that it matters all that much, but if I do something, I’m usually the “go all out” kind of girl.

I suppose... Update time.

I’ve still not lost any weight. I’ve been at a plateau for ages. I bounce around in the same range. It seems that as soon as I get back down, I’m back up. I cannot figure it out. My primary care provider cannot figure it out.  I am doing what I’m supposed to; I eat (mostly) healthy and I move. Calories in vs calories out.  That’s really what it comes down to. There are so many other things that people talk about and bring into consideration, but let’s just look at fundamentals... Calories in vs calories out. I’ve done calculators and routinely eat less than what I should to maintain, which means I should be losing. I’m not.  Yes, I drink water and change up my exercise routine. The thing is though that all these little factors that make a difference for someone trying not lose those last pesky pounds, shouldn’t be making a difference for me. Not yet. I can see that back when I was at my lowest weight and fighting to lose more. That I couldn’t lose. No matter what. Looking back, I’d be totally content to be back there again. Totally.

I tried keto and it wasn’t for me. I didn’t lose weight with it. Most things I read basically said “you’re doing it wrong” and tried to give tips on changes to make.  No matter what it didn’t help. In studying about my body type, metabolic type and other things, keto wasn’t a good plan. I really shouldn’t IbeNow I  eating much red meat or dairy. Keto does say limited dairy is okay; I think I read an ounce of cheese a few times a day. I’m not doing it anymore so I’ve pushed the details out of my brain. Even looking at just the carb part; cutting carbs “should” result in weight loss.  I did that. Nothing. Of course it’s not like I scarf down carbs all day long anyway.
I’ve been doing some research and my primary care provider has been great in working with me. I  tried a weight loss aid for a while. I was hesitant and honestly a little resistant at first. Resistant but desperate so I tried it.  It helped a little. I tried an increase. It didn’t do much. I was on it for a while and while it did have some initial, minor influence, it wasn’t great and it wasn’t working. I have been thinking of going off of it for a while but it took me time to get there. Mentally, I was afraid. If I I stopped taking it, what would happen? Was it really working? Would I gain? I stopped it about a week and a half ago and I don’t think it’s made a difference. It’s hard to tell but I don’t think it has. I
]’was retaining water/bloated, which should be going away now. I ate over the weekend though (a couple times!) so there’s that too.  I started having PMS symptoms a full week before my periIod, including retention which stayed throughout it.  Now that it’s done, I should be back to normal. At any rate, I don’t feel like the med did much or has done much since being off of it. Overall, I’m probably about the same.

The was/is a referral to an endocrinologist. My PCP said that there could be other levels or metabolic issues in my body that aren’t part of his scope of practice.  An endocrinologist would be able to check other lab values to see if something else is off.  At this point, I KNOW something is wrong with me. It’s just a matter of figuring out what that is — and trying not to lose my sanity in the process.  I keep moving forward. I’ll keep doing what I’ve been doing and make improvements and adjustments along the way.

In the meantime, my PCP suggested a trial of another medication. This time, an injection.  Again, I’m hesitant. In reading about it, it seems like it’s all about appetite. Appetite is not the issue and really hasn’t been. However, it also has some hormonal component (and is a hormone) so given that piece, I decided to try it. I met with the PharmD at the office today and will start it tonight. I shared my concern about appetite and being unsure with her and she gave me some great reassurance that the hormone aspect might be the key, and said she’s seen really great things with it.  I’m apprehensive but at this point I’ll try it.

I think that some of my reluctance with these medications as been a personal thing. I don’t believe in any pills or tricks or “cheats,” and have been consistent about sharing my stance against these things. And now, here I am, trying them.... I guess I feel like a bit of a hypocrite. I should be viewing itdifferently; that maybe it’s OKAY to be at that point. That I’ve been doing what I should and maybe I just need a boost or something else. That something is happening in my body that makes it okay. Obviously I’m not just starting out this way and looking for a fix.  I’m frustrated and just want to know what the hell is wrong with my body. Mostly my lower body, which is why I’m so apprehensive about these meds... My stomach isn’t huge. In fact, my upper body is pretty “normal” looking. It’s from my hips to my knees that’s the problem.....

Which leads me into my next findings.... Lipedema/lipoedema.  It’s fairly common yet not often diagnosed.  I read a statistic that said that about 11% of women have it.  Typically they have a pear shape, and it can start at puberty and worsens over time. Other hormonal changes can cause a larger change. At first I read that it was the entire lower body, but in researching, I’ve found that there are different types.  I’d fall into type two, which is the hips, butt, and thighs. The areas are symmetrically large and column like.  With type two, it stops at the knee, so the knees can look like they’re banded. I can see a learn stopping line at my knee. I wonder how much of my weight is held in that area.

The disease is fat cells that are abnormal and fibrous. It’s actually pretty gross looking both internally and externally.  I remember when I had my skin removal surgery and I asked my Cosmetic Surgeon about a thigh lift.  He told me that I still had a lot of volume that I wouldn’t be able to lose.  He recommended liposuction and it was something like 2-3 liters of fat that he removed. I was fuzzy after surgery so I can’t remember if that was per leg or total. Even at that time, when I was at my smallest, my uppper body was distinctly smaller than my lower body. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but now I wonder what “fat that you’re not going to be able to lose” really meant.  In my mind I just thought of how people can’t “spot lose” fat and didn’t think anything more of it. Now I wonder if I should’ve asked more questions and what that really meant.

If it is lipoedema/lipedema, well that’s that. I cannot do a damn thing to lose that fat. Other than have more liposuction. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Lipo is expensive, but in order to prevent myself from looking a certain way, I’d do it.  Also with this, pain can be an issue. There are days that I run that my legs feel so heavy. Like I don’t even know how I’m lifting them even though I’m going slow (slower than normal!). I can poke/put pressure on areas in my thighs and it’s tender. I bruise easily. Not excruciating pain that’s there all the time, but most people can poke their fat and not have a pain reaction. In thinking that it could be this, I’m torn.... I’d feel better knowing that it isn’t something I’m doing (right or wrong). I’d continue being healthy and I feel like it would give me some peace of mind. However, the potential that it’s something I cannot control or change on my own is hard. The fact that no matter what I do, it won’t help makes me want to cry. Would I get liposuction again? Yes, in a heartbeat. And as many times as necessary. If it helps me to run better, to not feel heavy or sore, and yes helps me to look better, I’ll do it. At this point, i have no desire to wear anything above the knee including a bathing suit. I don’t even want to wear shorts around the house anymore because I feel like my legs are getting so bad.  I swear this is more than just cellulite.

I’ll continue trying things with my PCP and PharmD, and I’ll continue to eat healthy and exercise.  Other than my weight, I’m totally healthy. My labs are great and I have no other issues or concerns.  No matter the diagnosis or treatment, I am not going to give up my health. As hard as it feels to move these legs some days, I’m going to run... Even on my slowest, hardest days, I’m going to run. Whatever is going on in my body, I’m not giving in to it. I will keep working. Some days I may only walk and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with walking. I’ll run. I’ll continue with weights... Which by the way I’ve changed a little lately. I am no longer doing lower body training. My lower body is strong. I tend to build muscle easily. If this issue is a matter of me not losing fat, building muscle below that fat is just going to make me look bigger.  I’m still doing body weight training but I’m holding back on intense weights right now because I do not want my lower body to get any bigger.

I’ve read online that sometimes an anti-inflammatory diet helps.  Apparently even though it’s not lpmphedema (but can progress to that eventually), lymph flow can impact it. I can only imagine how things get stuck among that fibrous fatty tissue.  Anyway.... apparently some foods that can cause inflammation can have an impact on that, so I’m working to eat foods that fight it and try to stay away from foods that encourage it. This is also a point that makes me think it’s lipoedema /lipedema. I can easily put on weight after a meal out. I’ve always attributed that to sodium content and figured  that I’m just really sensitive to sodium.  However, it can be that some of those foods are causing inflammation in my body. That would totally make sense when looking at how I bloat after a restaurant meal - even if I don’t eat much. Which I don’t.... I get full quickly. I very rarely finish a meal at a restaurant (and cannot think of the last time I did). I’m always getting a box take home! And even then I don’t always finish it (sometimes I wonder why I even take the box!).

This is totally off subject... Do you believe in the whole cardinal being a visitor from Heaven idea? I do. My Papa just flew by and perched on the fence for a minute. He always knows when I need a little comfort.

That’s my update for now.... I will be sure to post on how this new medication (Saxenda by the way) works and what it’s all about. I’ve heard of great success and some side effects.  Oh!! If you look it up on YouTube, do not follow the blonde lady who tells you to drink certain protein drinks/water (because you can “live off them”) and basically just nibble on food IF you’re hungry. That’s terrible advice and probably not at all what any medical professional would recommend for someone on this medication. That’s not at all healthy. She says that the drink she recommends is something that baritric patients are told to drink after surgery. Clearly that’s suggested by their surgeon for a reason. Just be cautious of advice out there.... The best person to plan and discuss with is your own primary care provider.  Be safe and healthy!!!!

I feel like there was something else I was going to write about, but it has totally left my mind as of this moment. That just means that I’ll have content for another post - if and when I remember what exactly it was.

I’ll think about trying one of those vlog things.... We’ll see. I can see myself taking 1001 takes before getting something I feel is post worthy. I can’t even take a Snapchat or selfie without multiple tries because something doesn’t look right! A ten minute video would probably take me hours. We’ll see though. Clearly I’m learning that trying things I wouldn’t normally do isn’t always a bad thing.....Maybe.

Be well!
XOXO

2 comments:

  1. Omg I just wrote the longest comment and hit the wrong button. It all got deleted. Anywho, I still read blogs from time to time. I ended vlogging bc the community I blogged with is gone. Here's my YouTube channel if you get bored - - >So Sh Did<--
    I know what you mean about the plateau! I've been bouncing around the same numbers for months now. I eat plates of raw veggies with boiled chicken,sardines, tuna, gallon of water/day, walk 3-4 miles 4 days a week... and I don't get past my bounce around number! Rrrrrrrgghhh
    I'm like you in the fact that I didn't want to do weight loss meds but in a last ditch effort I am trying vitamin metabolism injections. I've seen a miniscule result.
    I hope you are able to have the breakthrough you are working so hard towards! I've always admired your dedication to fitness. Keep me posted even if only via email since I know you don't always get the chance to blog. veronica.watts1981@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sorry typo in my YouTube name. It's
    So She Did

    ReplyDelete