Monday, May 14, 2018

Spring…On the Horizon?

**Apparenly I wrote this at some point in time and forgot to publish it**

I’ve not updated in a bit. The end of December to be exact. Nearly two months and not a lot has changed...

I am STILL at a stand still with weight loss and no matter what I try. Keto will work for a few pounds but one “free” day and it seems ruined. I am getting into ketosis but the pounds are not budging. I’m working hard not to compare to “last time” but given the ridiculous plateau that shouldn’t be; I am feeling the struggle. I’m at such a point of frustration that I keep thinking anout the sleeve. I quickly dismiss it because I didn’t need it before and I’ll be damned if I need it now.  Plus my insurance sucks and I when I really think about it, I don’t want that bill. I don’t even know if it would be a food option for me. My the bulk of my weight is in my hips, thighs, and butt. How will doing something to my stomach help that?! I honestly think maybe  a few *or ten* rounds of lipo would be a better option. My upper body has a little  to lose but not as much. I swear there something off in my body. There’s zero reason my weight loss should be at a plateau. My thyroid is fine. All of my labs are. One damn cheat day and one higher carb day per week can’t be causing this. I swear it’s some other hormone level or something. Is there a specialist for this kind of thing? A doctor of some sort? I don’t want a “weight loss” doc because I don’t really want surgery. My stress level with this frustration cannot be helping. 

Also, I’m going to go ahead and say it… People who are not even that overweight and don’t truly commit to anything else who getting bariatric surgery are driving me nuts. I think it’s to quick and easy of an option. There are some who need it. I get that. But why has having yourself cut open and a chunk of your stomach removed suddenly become the way to lose weight?! No. Just no. I also question some of those who do this and whether they’ve actually exhausted all other possibilities.  Also, when the “great work” commend come in cam people please just be honest and say “I had surgery and physically can’t eat like I used to.” Sure, ways of eating are changed but it’s a physical thing due to a surgical procedure. It takes a lot less effort to eat something small than to meal plan. Don’t go jumping all over me - I didn’t say everyone. I didn’t generalize. I said some. Let’s not forget that. This is a piece of what I see. Props to those who are doing more than the minimum, who are honest, and who are making changes!! Those are the people will understand it’s not that easy and that the struggle shall remain because weight is about more than just weight and fat. There’s an emotional connection. There’s a mental connection.  This is why I need to get back to better self-care and do some work there too.

On the plus side, I’m still working. Hitting the same wall repeatedly hasn’t made me stop. The bad days are easier to allow - or potentially allow. I’m still doing cardio at least a few times a week and I am really focused on strength training. If nothing else, my muscle is increasing. 

Stop right now with the muscle weighs more than fat. It doesn’t. A pound is a pound. Forever and ever a pound will always be a pound no matter what is making up that pound. Density matters. Muscle takes up less room than fat. Perhaps this is why I’m wearing clothes the same size as clothes I wore 30 pounds less than where I am now, the first time around. Perhaps it’s why I look like I’ve lost weight. Body parts look smaller. 

HOWEVER, I don’t feel like I am at the point that this should derail loss. Plus, muscle is supposed to help burn fat. Therefore, I should be losing. Weight. Not my mind. Which is becoming a legitimate concern at this point. 

OH MY GOSH!!! I know why I hardly blog. It is SO hard using my iPad for this. I should attrach screenshots of all of the typos. Also, it makes my hands hurt. Awkward finer positioning or something. It’s just not typing. My home laptop and desktop (yes; I still have one of those!) are old and not always the best for blogging. The desktop would be better but it takes a long time to boot up and I don’t like sitting at a desk at home because I do it at work all day. 

I know how to remedy this. 

Amazon.

Case with keyboard; ordered. I’m looking forward to Tuesday. I heart you Amazon Prime. 

Other goal updates:

Have not returned to yoga. I just cannot make any of the offered times work with my schedule. I have clients in the morning and in the evening. If I can arrange it make at least four classes a week work for me, then I’ll return. I just can’t see paying $50 a month to make it to one or two classes. They don’t all have to be yoga. I would like to do at least two yoga classes and the other two can be other classes. I’m happy to be busy at work right now though. It always has ups and downs as far as how busy I am, and I’m grateful for the busy times. For now I’ll continue to take longer lunches to do my workouts. 

That money saving thing - so far I’ve followed it.  Mostly. I didn’t have two singles to put in last week (or was it a five?) so put in some. I can’t remember if I put the rest in or not. I have to add the money for this week but otherwise I am on track. I’ll check and make sure last week is also accounted for. I don’t carry much cash so this will be the challenging part until I hit larger amounts. Then I’ll just deposit this into my savings and do a transfer online from one account to the other. Much easier. In fact, I’ll do that in the morning. Deposit this and transfer the next couple weeks worth of deposits over. 

Self-care is better. It can always improve though so that’ll be a constant goal; one that’s constantly changing too. There are things that can be added or done different. I picked up a cool journal that I found on sale at lululemon this week. I have my regular journal which I use sporadically but this one is a meditation journal. 108 days worth of notes before or after meditation. Perfect for self-care. 

Why 108? This is a significant number in yoga. 108 beads on the mala. 108 sun salutations on the summer solstice. Wanderlust 108 (a festival). 108 refers to spiritual completion; hence everything ending with 108. It’s a sacred number. The number 108 connects the sun and the moon to Earth. This is the simple explanation. There are other things that make 108 significant but that discussion would make for an entire post. 

Decluttering and organizing - yes; in progress. This should also be constant. Thus far I’ve gone through DVDs and Blu-Rays and put them in sleeves rather than bulky cases. It saves a lot of room and weight. And it looks better. I’ve been going through clothes and shoes to keep, toss, donate, or consign. I’ll be doing more work on that this afternoon - and getting my closet room and bedroom closet better organized. I was supposed to go to an event this afternoon but I have a bit of a cold and don’t want my cough to be a distraction. Closets will be the most constant process of all. I love clothes. I’m instating that buy one, toss one or two philosophy. I cleaned and organized kitchen cabinets - was able to get rid of some things in that process too. Magazines were trashed. I’m horrible about letting those pile up. My (home) desk was organized. That’ll be constantly changing too. I need to remember to get a filing cabinet so I can better organize my work desk. It’s getting a bit frightful. Even after I clean and organize it. I need to go through my office toys too. Anyway... Back to my focus on home. I’ve organized bathroom stuff. I bought some cute little wire baskets and divided bathroom things into those - hair products; lotions, shower gels, and such; hair accessories and brushes; and various odds and ends like things for running (KT, body glide, sunblocks...). I’ve also gone through other little nicknacks and accessories. 

Three half marathons.  None yet. Not registered for any yet. I was going to do one this Spring but the race organizer kind of upset me about a charity thing (one of many frustrations). That story is another post. I’m currently looking for two and know of one that I want to register for. I’m not concerned about that. Although training progress has slowed since I decided not to do the one in April. I’ll get back to it. For now short runs which....

Help improve my running time/speed. I’ve been making sure to do intervals at least once a week. Yay me! 

So that’s that. Also I’m super annoyed and over writing on this iPad. Please excuse any typos I haven’t yet caught. I’m very much over this thing. I do have something else to post but that shall wait... 

XOXO



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